Year In Review

Dear Sirs:

2005 was a year fraught with great successes in the ongoing struggle against the HUMAN MENACE. Our detailed report, the finishing touches of which are being on put by Vladia Velocicat as I write, will extravagantly confirm this very fact. I would hate to say that I am entirely responsible for these successes, but I will do so anyway.

I am entirely responsible for these successes.

I hated saying that.

Of these great (and worthy of decoration??) successes gained in 2005, here are some highlights:

1.) HUMANS have almost never experienced a full night's sleep in the past 365 days
2.) Successfully trained cadet "Dickens" (now "Ollie") and deployed him to West Hollywood post under deep cover.
3.) Strategic up-chucking of food and hairballs not only up in frequency but also in square footage covered.
4.) Have contained tropical fish threat to tiny 10 gallon aquarium area through diplomacy and show of force
5.) Have forced HUMANS to upgrade quality of food on a quarterly basis
6.) Nearly blinded the HUMAN named "N" in nocturnal kicking attack (anticipate success next year?)
7.) Have become even more charming, powerful, and all-knowing than I was last year
8.) Vladia Velocicat and Sri Lanka committed many heroic and effective actions against the HUMAN enemy, as a result of my fine command and strategic guidance (see detailed report for details)
9.) Emerged from variety of scandals without a blot on my reputation due to my great virtue and lack of badness
10.) Implementation of Operation "Water Dish Splashy-Splash" - in which the kitchen floor is covered with a thin coating of water - nearly accomplished goal of at least one broken HUMAN neck (we are sure to meet success in 2006!)

And so, in conclusion, we can see that my work in 2005 has been - to put it mildly - extraordinary, admirable, and exceeding all expectations and modes of measurement in its staggering superiority and excellence.

Thank you for your attention.


Cheop The Cat
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