Dickens To Depart Tomorrow

The young DICKENS ` m,`(who just stampeded across the keyboard and made that odd little addition there after his name - what a cat!) will be leaving us, yea, upon the pinkish morrow. (I am most usually plain and straightforward and post my reports in an unadorned style, but upon certain special occasions it is necessary for with the speech to become flowery and fragrant, purple and poetic, rhapsodic and wascally, don't you find?)

I've been remiss in posting lately. And I wonder if it could be some kind of avoidance behaviour (an British psychology expression meaning "avoidance behavior") on my part. For I will feel a certain...I may not entirely be without feeling as regards...I may experience symptoms of...

I shall miss Dickens.

But not in any sentimental way! No! Let us cat-nip that in the bud right now! I will miss filling his malleable little mind with dark plots. I will miss regailing him with the tales of my own harrowing experiences in the service of KittyNet. I shall (I'm switching to "shall" now) miss his wide-eyed admiration as he watches me demonstrate sophisticated cat attack maneuvers. And I shall miss assessing his gleeful assaults against the sleeping HUMANS.

Dickens will be shipping out tomorrow at 10am, posing as a prisoner of war ("adopted", the HUMAN propaganda machine calls it). If all goes well he will be set up in the West Hollywood apartment of one HUMAN, Sandra A., by noon. He will make contact with an "Elise" - a gray and white tabby.

Speaking of which, please do send ASAP:

Req. feli-file FORM89
File on CatName: "Elise"
90046/whd/FULLFILE
id#code.jad.32.d.1899 - fullf.

I do not know this "Elise". I have suspicions. But I will defer to KittyNet orders and such and so forth and fifth. I trust in you, my superiors.

Who knows when the V3 will see Dickens again? We have done all we can for him. I have taught him every single thing he will need to know for the rest of his existence. He need have no other teachers apart from me. And it should be noted that he is fully educated and has had every last vestige of ignorance removed from him by me personally myself.

I have little doubt that in the future we will read about his exploits in dispatches. Perhaps he will attain the highest offices. Perhaps he will be one of our great leaders. Perhaps it will be he who leads us to final victory against the HUMANS. And to think, that it was all because of me and my superb tutelage.

I am so proud...

So proud of my little Dickens...

Have to...Have to sign off...I've...I've got something in my eye...

- Commander Cheop