I Am Sorely Abused!
I have had enough of all this criticism! Enough! My own lieutenants undermining my authority! As if I were a threat to our safety, security, and success!The truth is - and we all know it - all of us - all of us know it - that it is I who am the abused party! It is I who have suffered for the cause of KittyNet! What sleepless nights have I suffered to make sure that I and my cats have food available at all hours! What uncomfortable pillows I have had to sleep on! (please see photograph of me patiently and humbly suffering, for KittyNet's sake)
I have only ever tried to help KittyNet in its mission - by doing exactly whatever I wanted to do (by which I mean "doing the right and proper thing").
Little Dickens, that talented and affectionate new black kitten, believes in me. Even if his FORMER instructor has turned against us.
(And don't think I've forgotten about that Cat Martial! I'm still waiting for the paperwork)
- Cheop
posted by Neal Romanek @ 8/11/2005 01:45:00 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
Cmmr Cheop:
this photo features your pink shark mouth nicely. Your pink shark mouth is well known throughout kitty net, both for its pink shark-like appearance and for the sharp abuse that comes from it. fellow kitties would like to see more pictures of the pink shark mouth. Request 54#$3#$r4__2cat filed 112th day of captivity.
Deck Cat
p.s. Speaking of abuse, Commander Cheop, the day-humans i adopted (the neighboring humans whose deck i especially love), have betrayed me! they have brought home two especially foul creatures, probably related to dickens, smelly, skinny, and probably evil. must report that formerly secure quadrant Deck_Stairs_Street_westPissed2358times is now unstable due to intruders. i have been disallowed from entering the sitting and eating areas i used to enjoy so much, and am now stuck on the deck where i have been calling them all kinds of names. but they just pet me. stupid humans. am trying to secure the area.
It is difficult to know who to trust.
I would suggest treating the new arrivals with great caution. One of the tricks I employ is to viciously attack any cat...or HUMAN...actually pretty much any "Non-Cheop" that I feel unsure of. If the subject tries to defend itself, I can feel confident that they're up to something.
That's not directly out of the KittyNet Field Manual, but I have found it to be quite...quite satisfying.
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