CHEOP HYPOCRISY SCANDAL!?

To: KittyNet Intelligence (37.hpedd-mork)/(PRIORITY)
From: Vladia Velocicat (id#code-34748.8h)

As you know, Commander Cheop the Cat has repeatedly in the past weeks roundly condemned the arrival of the kitten "Dickens" as a threat to mission security and has repeatedly criticized the training plan presented for Dickens by KittyNet and implemented by my fabulous self. He also has referred to the new recruit in the harshest possible words. I here list examples.

He has called Dickens, and I quote directly:

"fluff-chinned daisy-hearted stinky and evil black kitten"

"The MONSTER!"

"intruder"

"the evil, villainous, odious and monstrous small new black cat"

"the new small, meowing, awful, little, smelly, treacherous black kitten"

Also Cheop has referred to my mentoring-ship of Kitty Dickens as "her unhealthy and unwholesome and almost certainly treasonous relationship with the new and dangerous interloper".

It will come as a great surprise then to the KittyNet command and control structure--certainly it was a great shock to us here--to see the following pictures, taken on the afternoon of Saturday, July 23.

The pictures would seem to show a point of view different from that presented by Cheop to us here. I am not an expert in image analysis, but even a cursory examination of the photos indicates at least a comradeship, if not friendly feeling between these two--ostensibly--bitter enemies.

I don't know. Perhaps I am wrong in expecting a consistent security policy from my commanding officer. But, of course, it is not up to me to make policy. That I leave in your capable and expert paws.

Thank you, sirs, for your attention to this matter,

--VLADIA V.